(updated 11 Dec 05)  

Top Ten Signs You Are Not One of the '10 Most Fascinating People of 2005'

10. I can't even afford to get a prepaid cell phone, much less use one as a weapon! (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

9. I did not have sex with any of the people who decided who the ten people are. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

8. You don't own a sonogram machine. (lacee7700@aol.com)

7. "Accounting" and "Fascinating" are two words you don't normally use in the same sentence. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

6. Your description of a great party includes the words "crossword puzzle", "vacation slides", or "my stamp collection". (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

5. You drive a minivan (not that there's anything wrong with that). (shep@compascable.net)

4. I have never had a drink in a place where 'everybody knows my name.' (KAYLADYKAY@AOL.COM)

3. You write angry letters to Better Homes and Gardens about how your NASCAR Collectible Plates haven't appreciated in value. (hunkafunk@hotmail.com)

2. You keep going on about how much money you save on groceries with your Safeway card. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Now, if you'd only shut up about yourself...

1. Even your mother gets bored discussing you. (edprocoat@msn.com)