(updated 14 Apr 03)  

Top Ten Ways to Bring Some Sophistication and Legitimacy to Professional Wrestling

10. Have one of their all-time legends become a prominent political figure, like Governor of Min...oh forget it! (uzdkar@aol.com)

9. Tea and crumpets between rounds. (Mistahtom@aol.com; yellomonkeez@aol.com)

8. Can only insult each other using quotes from Shakespeare. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

7. When they initiate a Pile Driver, they have their pinky fingers extended out. (RodentsRred@hotmail.com)

6. White starched napkins to wipe up the blood. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

5. Stop hitting each other with cheap folding chairs. Switch to something tasteful in early American hand crafted dining room chairs. (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)

4. Make the arena a mullet-free zone. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

3. All matches will be followed with an interpretive dance about the evils of senseless violence. (corabelle@comic.com)

2. "And now, down to our ring announcer, Mr. William F. Buckley." (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Uh....maybe some things are best left the way they are...

1. Restore classical glory by wrestling, as the Greeks did; in the nude. (chharget@aol.com)