(updated 14 Apr 04)  

Top Ten Ways New York Plans to Celebrate Times Square's Centennial

10. Drugs and hookers...the same way they celebrated the first 99 years. (rampage1984@msn.com)

9. One out of every 10 fake Rolexes sold will be a real one.....stolen of course. (skibip@aol.com)

8. Picking up the trash on the streets and dropping it on the crowd in place of confetti. (DOrr@jam.rr.com)

7. The One Hundred Homeless Man Chorus will sing, "New York, New York". (If you can make it here....You'll make it an-y-where!) (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

6. One murder every hour for 24 hours. (jandsfargo@hotmail.com)

5. Crowd in and get drunk -- the same way they celebrate everything else. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

4. Tear it down and build a monument. (rod.renner@juno.com)

3. Steinbrenner and Trump face off in charity contest to see who can fire the most employees. (m.giunta@comcast.net)

2. Free Jumbotron porn all week long. (discodon2000@aol.com)

This comes as a big surprise since most people figured he was actually emceeing the birth of it...

1. They'll be unveiling a statue of Dick Clark, who coincidentally, is also turning one hundred. (lacee7700@aol.com)