(updated 15 Feb 04)  

Top Ten Ways The "Janet Jackson Incident" Is Going To Change Life As We Know It

10. It finally puts to rest all the rumors that Janet and Michael are really same person. (Drgntmr@aol.com; sheafitz1@netscape.com)

9. People will actually watch the Super Bowl Half-time show. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

8. Half-off bra sales every February 1st. (endocrom@aol.com)

7. Parents around the globe will wonder if the XXXVII following the words Super Bowl was really just the rating. (pizzafreak48076@aol.com)

6. "Ladies and Gentlemen, for your Half-time entertainment.....Glenn Campbell!!!!" (m.giunta@comcast.net)

5. Terrorists will note how it has affected us, and adopt it as a weapon. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

4. Sky-rocketing TiVo sales. (BPaul317@aol.com)

3. Airport Security employees across the country pray for the day Janet Jackson gets in their line to go through the metal detector. (m.giunta@comcast.net)

2. George Bush is no longer the most famous boob in the country. (TerriKlein@aol.com)

And you thought Janet's was floppy...

1. The door is open for next year's Super Bowl Half-time produced by National Geographic. (Agoreal3433@yahoo.net)

The Ones That Almost Made It