(updated 15 Nov 05)  

Top Ten Ways Prince Charles and Camilla's Visit Will Influence President Bush

10. It won't. He couldn't get past the language barrier. (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)

9. After they leave, Prez will have an inexplicable desire to rewatch his fave movie, "Dumbo". (humorlessoffline@aol.com; jdcoops3@aol.com)

8. Bush will return home to his wife, passionately kiss her and say, "Honey if I ever decide to leave you for an older, more ugly woman, just load the shotgun and put me out of my misery." (edprocoat@msn.com)

7. Increasing Bush's self-image when he realizes there is someone out there who looks dumber than he does. (bhsmrtgrrl@yahoo.com)

6. What does Prince Charles and Camilla have to do with Bush? He's always "under the influence". (steve_medel@oxy.com)

5. President Bush will now refer to Vice President Cheney as "Spotted Dick." (manpretty@gmail.com)

4. He will pick up some useful tips on how to be hardly noticed. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

3. Bush will become obsessed with the poor quality of architecture he sees everywhere, then later admit he really doesn't give a rat's ass. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

2. Will remind him to ask Tony Blair why they don't celebrate the Fourth of July in England. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

"Hey, Laura...how exackly do ya get elected King anyway?"...

1. "You had a King named George?...Hmmmm, now there's an idea." (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)