(updated 16 May 03)  

Top Ten Rejected Changes To The New $20 Bill

10. "In God We Trust" changed to "What Me Worry?" (forms@beige.f2s.com; dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

9. Making it worth $25 so you can still buy a pack of cigarettes with it in New York. (Georges101@aol.com)

8. Replace Secretary of the Treasury's signature with Bill Gate's, since he controls most of it anyway. (kaylor@mail.com)

7. Rubber added to make it stretch farther. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

6. The $20 bill becomes a $20 coin the same size and color of a penny with Sacagawea pictured on it. (TZMAC@aol.com)

5. Copy-proof bedspread-size bills. (mrsbrak@fastmail.fm)

4. Replacing Jackson's picture with a figurehead that is more revered and beloved by the public..... like Cher. (rdwarpony@aol.com)

3. Perforations so that it can be distributed, $1 at a time, at strip clubs, without having to get change. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

2. Replace serial #s with the phrase "Over 400 billion printed." (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)

Hey look I won...now maybe I can buy something WORTH $20...

1. Scratch-offs for a chance to be worth an extra $20. (laugh@starpower.net)