(updated 18 Mar 03)  

Top Ten Things To Do With Your Extra Two-Tenths Of A Year Life Expectancy Increase

10. Enjoy a slightly longer lingering death. (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)

9. Fly around the world in a hot air balloon.... oh, wait, that takes a whole 80 days. Forget that idea. (motorbreath2000@netscape.net)

8. Let's see.. twelve months divided by two tenths.. hmmm... let's see... carry the one.. This will take me a while... I guess I will spend my time figuring out what TWO TENTHS of a damn year is.. Why couldn't they have said, "ONE TWELFTH"? (gregparsons68@yahoo.com)

7. Kick back at Club Asbestos with some Big Macs, coupla Miller Lites and some unfiltered Camels. (seeker@vcoms.net)

6. I have to hear from my wife that I now have time to clean out the garage. (steve_medel@oxy.com)

5. Great, that means my life sentence will be even longer. (Inmate@thecountyjail.com)

4. Buy a piece of gum cause you're not going to get anything else with the money you get. (iluvfriends247@aol.com)

3. Remind everybody that your drunken "Over my dead body" statement will be in effect that much longer. (samuraikc2002@aol.com)

2. Ah, yes...72 more days of begging the wife for sex. (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)

Let me guess...Old Grandad?

1. Simple math...just break that two tenths down and get a fifth. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)