(updated 1 Jun 03)  

Top Ten Little Known Scientifically Proven Benefits From Playing Video Games

10. Low skin cancer rates...SINCE YOU NEVER GO OUTSIDE!!! (Mistahtom@aol.com)

9. Strengthens the thumb muscles allowing for crushing victories in "Thumb Wars." (KatSut78@aol.com)

8. More motivation...to find all 7 crystals of the Creton Galaxy and rescue Princess Nebula. An increase in motivation nonetheless. (Cheez412@aol.com)

7. Allows teenagers' final moments to be happy ones believing they'll get two more lives after this car wreck. (chharget@aol.com)

6. I don't know if it's scientific, but if I should ever need to rescue a damsel from a big monkey, I'll know to avoid the rolling barrels. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

5. Physically impossible to have two hands on a game controller and roll a joint at the same time. (skibip@aol.com)

4. No chance of getting sexually transmitted diseases, as gamers are obviously not getting laid. (dinosaur1972@aol.com)

3. Lowers blood pressure. The little f***ers stay up in their room and leave me alone to watch bass fishing and drink beer. (seeker@vcoms.net)

2. Keeps sex and violence in the home..where it belongs. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Hey, wait...these guys have one of the most stressful jobs...oh well, it's nothing compared to avoiding zombies in Resident Evil...

1. Top scores automatically move you to top of the list on Air Traffic Controller job listings. (shorthairday@aol.com)