(updated 1 May 03)  

Top Ten Iraqi Mayoral Race Campaign Promises
(Suggested by RWich928@aol.com)

10. I promise to build only HALF the official residences my predecessor did! (chharget@aol.com)

9. Fewer burqas, more bikinis. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

8. I am the ONLY candidate that can bring you Nick at Night, the rest only feature Al Jazeera reruns. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

7. If elected i promise to replace all Saddam statues with J-Lo statues!!! (oldnvyaf@aol.com)

6. Dixie Chicks concert at inaugural. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

5. Torturers will wear clown faces (kaylor@mail.com)

4. Promise to import SARS, whatever that is. (seeker@vcoms.net)

3. Free drinkable water to the first ten people who work up the courage to vote! (gonnabmeeee@aol.com)

2. I'll bring our country into the 20th century! (StanYan1@aol.com)

So basically...he's skirting the issue?...

1. Has only 3 daughters, so no real continuation of possible dictatorship in the event of his gory and untimely death. (NOTkamasushi@NOTaol.com)