(updated 20 Aug 03)  

Top Ten Signs You Just Aren't Getting Enough Exercise

Another example of a smartass...which we will just not tolerate...

You discover that you are chained to a computer 24/7 drinking martinis and running a comedy site...ohhh...can I say that here? (RWich928@aol.com)

The long list...as...well, I have been drinking martinis and trying to run a comedy website...plus I'm too lazy...

20. Had to stop and rest before finishing....... typing this. (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)

19. Puffing more than usual when carrying a box of doughnuts (chharget@aol.com)

18. The 3-man tent you bought in college is now your spring jacket. (tackajoey@aol.com)

17. You only shop on the first floor of the mall because the escalators look "too steep." (Omegamagezero@aol.com)

16. La-Z-Boy names a recliner model after you. (murdoctor@aol.com)

15. While standing on the corner waiting to cross the street, people attach garage sale signs to you with a staple gun. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

14. At last blood drive, Red Cross struck jelly. (chharget@aol.com)

13. The laundry hanging on your stationary bike has mold. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

12. You lie down on the bed to zip your jeans and fall asleep from exhaustion. (lacee7700@aol.com)

11. The stabbing pain in my chest when I stood up only to find that i stepped on my boobs (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com)

10. Your doctor suggests that you lower your cholesterol by eating four sticks of butter a day. (grumpchong@aol.com)

9. No more BVD's. Time for BV Double-D's. (razcactus@netzero.com)

8. The Michelin Man is suing you for copyright infringement. (TCham90795@aol.com)

7. The ridges in your corduroys disappear! (weepingturtle73@yahoo.com)

6. You look in the mirror and think "If I could just look like that Dom DeLuise". (Georges101@aol.com)

5. Spare batteries are taped to the remote control. (agoudie@cableone.net)

4. Forget walking a mile in your shoes...I have yet to walk a mile in my own! (princekenny2002@yahoo.ca)

3. I AM getting enough exercise. (typed by skibip's secretary) (skibip@aol.com)

2. Stopped having flashbacks from Nam because it is just too damn far away. (monetmonet@artlover.com)

Do Cheetos count...'cause I also had to lick that orange stuff off my fingers, too...

1. Your idea of a "chin-up" is to tilt your head back while pouring the crumbs out of a potato chip bag into your mouth. (MedCheryl@aol.com)