(updated 20 Feb 03)  

Top Ten Signs Your University is Not in the Same League as Harvard

10. The only Ivy at my alma mater worked in the cafeteria. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

9. Harvard has the Harvard Lampoon. The wittiest thing your university has is a link on their webpage to HumorMeOnline. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

8. Economics professor always wears a "Quick Lube" shirt with his name on it and leaves class 5 minutes early. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

7. All classes have to be taken in one big auditorium divided by chalkboards on wheels. (trlymurph@aol.com)

6. The word Yale is used only to describe the brand of locks on the door. (pec@gis.net)

5. Harvard doesn't advertise in Hot Rod magazine. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

4. You notice the letters on frat houses are not Greek, they are just hung upside down or backwards. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

3. School motto is "Show us your tits!" (mr_didgers@hotmail.com)

2. Harvard uses your University to conduct research on. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

Really doesn't matter what it says...no one attending can read it anyway...

1. Directions to campus include "turn off the paved road." (seeker@vcoms.net)

The Ones That Almost Made It