(updated 20 Jun 03)  

Top Ten Reasons To Suspect Your Partner Might Have Monkeypox

10. Not sure of the symptoms, but I've been wondering about her new bellhop hat and impossibly small tricycle. (williemelmoth@aol.com)

9. Insisted the monkey in 'Outbreak' was innocent I tell you, INNOCENT! (kamasushi@aol.com)

8. She saw a rash on her arm and went ape! (tphyll@aol.com)

7. I thought my husband might have monkeypox when I woke this morning to find him picking fleas off the dog...and eating them! (Nnziegert@aol.com)

6. Barrels scare her. (PhelterBiggins@aol.com)

5. He went to the DMV and changed the name on his license to "Curious" George Smith. (vampspassion@aol.com)

4. Digs a hole in the living room, sits in it to watch TV. (Seeker@Vcoms.net)

3. Every night she walks around inside the Empire State Building in her negligee, anxiously looking out the windows. (BPaul317@aol.com)

2. He's been with everything else, why not a prairie dog? (lacee7700@aol.com)

Ahhhh...maybe you are just lacking...a-peel?

1. She asks you to slip her the banana...but she really wants a BANANA! (craigieb@aol.com)