(updated 21 Dec 04)  

Top Ten Ways The Mafia Would Be Different If It Were Run By Rednecks
(Topic suggested by chough3499@aol.com)

10. "Kiss of death? Y'all callin' me a homo, boy?" (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

9. The expression 'keeping it in the family' has whole new meaning. (SPTirish@aol.com; MrsMikeyDee@aol.com)

8. The title "Don" replaced by - what else? "Bubba". (HerzogVon@aol.com; guitartexn@aol.com)

7. "Pay up, or we'll sik ol' Duke here on ya!" (pennhead91@hotmail.com)

6. The "Old Country" in now a trailer park in the Louisiana Bayou. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

5. When you wake up and there is a Horse's Head lying next to you... don't panic...it just means you fell asleep in the barn again. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

4. They'll make you an offer you can't understand. (cdmauger@aol.com; Ringo@illuSchoen.net)

3. No such thing as "Wiseguys". (Eleman8859@aol.com)

2. When they threaten to "take you for a ride", you're trapped for at least 250 laps. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

"Make sure you take his orange cap off...ya wanna make it look real...this time..."

1. There'd be "hunting accidents". (william.fishburne@verizon.net; saxonraerae7@aol.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It