(updated 21 Oct 03)  

Top Ten Signs Someone Put a Lame Curse on You

We would be remiss if we didn't mention this one...altho I've been told that this one is not exactly lame...but pretty much the mother of all curses...

You wake up every morning and you're STILL MARRIED. (mgiunta@elliott-turbo.com)

Now to the list...

10. You wake up in the morning with a severed goat head in your bed, and all you did was TOUCH that damn foul ball! (StanYan1@aol.com)

9. You took a Midol and it went away. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

8. You were cursed to slumber for 1000 years... or until someone forwarded a certain email to their ten closest friends. (monetmonet@artlover.com)

7. Your mouth says exactly what you are thinking, but only under the influence. (lanny888@yahoo.com

6. For some reason every time you try to call someone your mother-in-law is on the other end (Austinstoy@aol.com)

5. You didn't win the lottery...AGAIN! (Aliciav29@aol.com)

4. Every time I make a right turn, a Republican fundraising ad pops into my head. (woactome@yahoo.com)

3. Your HMO entries are never chosen, even though they're CLEARLY funnier than the entries that actually make the list. (Jdoveraz@aol.com)

2. Instead of unlucky at love, you suddenly find yourself unlucky at Yatzee. (omega47@usa.com)

Ooooh...sounds like the plot to a new Stephen King TV movie...

1. "From here on", the witch said, "you will forever dream only in pastels - or earthtones - but NO VIBRANT REDS OR ORANGES!!!" (monetmonet@artlover.com)