(updated 22 Nov 03)  

Top Ten Things The Police Found When They Raided Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch

10. Twelve extra left gloves, Eleven tubes of Noxema, Ten "Lord of the Dance" tapes, Nine Sony Playstations, Eight video cameras, Seven cases of Kool-Aid, Six size 6 "Underoos".........Five plastic noses.......Four boxes of monkey chow, Three French horns, Two Ferris wheels, And LaToya's Playboy pictures on the wall. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

9. Not too much Pan but plenty of Peter. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

8. Out in the garden, they found a bed of noses. (bikemike101@hotmail.com)

7. A personal checkbook printed "Pay to the order of the parents of_______________. Bank of PETER PAN (Neverland Branch 01369) FOR: personal counsel m.j._______________." (tackajoey@aol.com)

6. A fairy, oh wait I mean Tinker Bell!! (Austinstoy@aol.com)

5. I bet they didn't find a Victoria's Secret catalog! (bchbums99@cox-internet.com)

4. "Fatherhood For Dummies" First Edition. (bikemike101@hotmail.com)

3. Matchbox cars, lollipops, and Pokemon cards . . . in a large box labeled "BAIT." (cdmauger@aol.com)

2. David Gest whimpering and hiding from Liza. (rpearson@umr.edu)

Well, this explains it all...

1. The real Michael Jackson bound and gagged in the basement next to the Elephant Man and still wearing his Thriller costume. (randy.renner@juno.com)