(updated 23 Jun 04)  

Top Ten Ways Attending Your High School Reunion Ruined/Will Ruin Your Life

10. Coming in last in the unofficial "Spousal Best of Show" contest. (chharget@aol.com)

9. Your spouse and your old boy/girlfriend getting into a long, private conversation. And laughing. A lot. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

8. Finding out ALL your teachers died of old age. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

7. Everyone else forgot the solemn pact to go to the 20-year reunion with shaved heads and no underwear. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

6. You run into your high school sweetheart, and her new name is Larry. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

5. You find that everybody (I mean EVERYBODY!) is hugely successful and rich except you who thought being Assistant Manager of a used lounge chair outlet gave you some sort of executive status. NOT! (jdh@ja-ad.com)

4. "No, he didn't get his injury playing football...he was on the cheerleading squad and fell." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

3. Mom wouldn't let me eat at the banquet; I had to bring a bag w/sandwiches. (Seeker@vcoms.net)

2. What do you know...I DO have a kid! (scalpel@aol.com)

Something tells me if you just found this out, you weren't exactly the brightest student of your graduating class...then OR now...

1. You finally remember the last name of that geek, Steve, from the AV Club who kept asking you out: Spielberg. (MrglsJon@aol.com)