(updated 24 Feb 03)
Top Ten Best Nonverbal Techniques to Pick Up Guys/Gals at Bars
(Other Than Tying Cherry Stems in Knots and Licking Your Eyebrows)
Always a smartass in the bunch...
Tying cherry stems into knots *while* licking your eyebrows. (RasGold@aol.com)
10. Deep throat a beer bottle. (email@example.com)
9. Hammer roofing nails into the bar top using your penis. (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)
8. Hold up a handmade sign that says, "Will make you squeal for food." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
7. In Alabama, the men walk right up to the women and stick it in them. Here in Texas, we stick it right in them and THEN walk up to them. (email@example.com)
6. For a girl to be able to put on her lipstick with her cleavage. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
5. Lick my large thumb, and count my thick wad of 100s. (FreeLooseDirt@sbcglobal.net)
4. Wear a shirt that says "If you have big jugs, I'm sensitive." (MistahtomsDad@aol.com)
3. Put my Porsche MV registration on the bar. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)
2. To pick up guys - just breathe (and that's not even a prerequisite!) (JoPalm@aol.com)
And then upon delivery, let me guess...you say "Olive you"?...
1. Bring her a martini while balancing it on your nose. This will show her that you are trainable. (BikeMike101@aol.com)