(updated 25 Apr 05)  

Top Ten Signs Britney Spears Is Just Not Cut Out To Be A Mother

10. "Now, this actual giving birth thing--can't I just lip synch it?" (giraffic_art@yahoo.com)

9. She keeps trying to get the pregnancy annulled. (Penguann2@aol.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

8. If it's a girl, she'll have a strict no dating policy 'til you're at least seven. (mjgiunta@adelphia.net)

7. Plans to deal with each kid crisis by asking "What would Madonna do?" (giraffic_art@yahoo.com)

6. Not many women can go from "The girl you wouldn't bring home to show your mother" to actually being a mother in the space of a year. (dart270@geocities.com)

5. Only hires two full time Nannies. (mjgiunta@adelphia.net)

4. Nipple piercings and breast feeding don't mix. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

3. She's too OLD...she should be a grandmother by this age, most of the women from her trailer park are... (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com)

2. People on the street constantly ask her who her 'Baby on Board' sign on her car is referring to. (SSilverDolphin9@aol.com)

What's worse is that it's on her upcoming 'Lullaby Collection'...

1. She's titled her next single, "Hit the Baby One More Time." (acidbrat@aol.com; phil@blueyonder.co.uk)