(updated 27 Dec 03)  

Top Ten Things Overheard in the Christmas Return Line
(Topic suggested by Sugarbaybee69@aol.com

10. $5.99?!? You mean it was thoughtless AND cheap? (chharget@aol.com)

9. Dude! Don't return that! Let's trade.... (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

8. What a surprise meeting you here! I'm not returning your gift if you're not returning mine. (chharget@aol.com)

7. I told you, Miss Ryder, we can't give you cash back for items that still have the security tag attached. (dignan44@yahoo.com)

6. Guaranteed to add two inches........right! (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

5. I'm just trying to return the urn...you can do what you want with my husband's remains. (medicine4spirit@aol.com)

4. I first met my wife at Walmart and I see no reason why I can't return her here. (jenalt2001@yahoo.com)

3. My husband bought me this dress in my exact size, and I'll never forgive the bastard! (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

2. Sassoon jeans, mood ring and a pet rock ??? You HAVE been in line a while !! (jdcoops3@aol.com)

What...return it and end the vicious cycle?...

1. Yes, I know the date on the fruitcake says 1987 but I just got it this Christmas. (medicine4spirit@aol.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It