(updated 27 Mar 03)  

Top Ten Rejected Slogans For Toilet Paper Companies

10. Nothing is more synonymous with sh*tty than our toilet paper. (mr_didgers@hotmail.com)

9. We take care of the hole thing! (reidayork@aol.com)

8. Making 'A' cups into 'C' cups for now and years to come. (corabelle@comic.com)

7. Try our Australian tissue..it's very good down under. (Fonzee66@aol.com)

6. We're the other morning paper. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

5. We succeed because we're crack addicts. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

4. Holy Crap, That's Great Toilet Paper! (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

3. With soothing aloe...because curry only sounded like a good idea. (corabelle@comic.com)

2. What can Brown do for you? (Guitartexn@aol.com)

Blame the folks at Northern...after all if they had any clue they'd have named it "Southern"...

1. If you're getting bad tissue...it anus! (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It