(updated 27 Oct 04)  

Top Ten Reasons Why Your Halloween Costume Won't Win Any Contests This Year

10. My Claude Rains costume was so good I was overlooked. (SPTirish@aol.com)

9. The skinny waistline of the JarJar Binks costume isn't sliding up past my hips this time... (paracletus3@aol.com)

8. Fake vomit not fake. (chharget@aol.com)

7. Maybe I shouldn't have used the real stuff for my "Political Bullshit" get-up. (ListenBucko@yahoo.com)

6. Stupid grudge-bearing Eastern European judges. (DaJakAiss@aol.com)

5. "Oh no...not another 'Cooking with Bobby Flay' themed costume!!" (RLTOWLER@aol.com)

4. For some reason, nobody likes guys dressed in Saran Wrap. (scalpel@aol.com)

3. Fewer and fewer people even recognize a good Bob Newhart costume. (m.giunta@comcast.net)

2. Apparently, ghost costumes are not popular in Compton.... (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

Turned out what you had to offer just kept getting mistook as a "hanging chad"...

1. You thought getting dressed up as a voting booth and asking all the female voters to pull your "big lever" was clever, not perverted. (gmg247@yahoo.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It