(updated 28 Dec 04)  

Top Ten Signs You Are At A Lame Christmas Party

10. Instead of getting laid you get laid off. (rockitower@aol.com)

9. Too much mistletoe for an all boys school. (DaJakAiss@aol.com)

8. "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" as sung by William Shatner is playing in the background. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

7. You find photocopies of someone's hand posted all over the office the next day. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

6. You remember it. (seeker@vcoms.net)

5. The line of people collecting under the mistletoe bears too strong a resemblance to the first few audience rows at a Star Trek convention. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

4. Even Paris Hilton still has her clothes on. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

3. There a big bowl of "Free Range Chicken Egg Nog" (and yes, they keep calling it that, all night...) (redbarron1010@aol.com)

2. Mentally, you're putting MORE clothes on everybody. (seeker@vcoms.net)

You guessed it...the only burping you'll hear isn't coming from some drunk in the corner...it's from the plastic...

1. "Hi, everybody! I'm going to show you great ways to keep your holiday leftovers fresh with Tupperware!" (MrglsJon@aol.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It