(updated 28 Feb 05)  

Top Ten Things NHL Players Will Be Doing Since The Season Is Cancelled

10. Throwing beer at NBA players trying to start a hockey game. (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

9. Anger Management Therapy (stan@squidworks.com; w.kaer@att.net)

8. Trying to figure out how they will get along without an income, living off their $12 Million savings. (skibip@aol.com)

7. Take their hooking to the streets... (Marcwwolf@aol.com)

6. Teaming up with Vince McMahon for a "Wrestling on Ice Spectacular". (Eleman8859@aol.com; DOrr@jam.rr.com)

5. Handling hard rubber pucks, just like before; only now they come wrapped in a sesame seed bun. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

4. Melting the ice and looking for their teeth. (jajuta@comcast.net)

3. Dreaming of the good old days in the Soviet Union. (seeker@vcoms.net)

2. Writing and starring in a new Broadway play entitled "What the ***k Were We Thinking?!". (jbray4@adelphia.net)

Who are in turn, standing next to Tiger Woods and all his endorsement deals...

1. Standing next to baseball players to make them look less like greedy bastards. (comedian2000@hotmail.com)