(updated 28 Jan 03)  

Top Ten Signs the Cafeteria Lady Is Having a Bad Day

10. The hair in the soup still has a head attached to it. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

9. She forgot to draw on her eyebrows. (trlymurph@aol.com)

8. After pulling my head out of a serving dish... she inquires, "Does anyone else see any lumps in my mashed potatoes?" (Cantw82paint@aol.com)

7. "No Vacancy" sign on the nurse's office. (jbray4@adelphia.net)

6. "BEANS!! .. It's all we gots. It's all yer gonna gits!" (RasGold@aol.com)

5. Just wasn't into spitting in the food today. (DOrr@jam.rr.com)

4. The mashed potatoes look good... too good. (laugh@starpower.net)

3. She uses her hairnet to strain the spaghetti. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com; jaynashvil@aol.com )

2. Out of spitefulness, she actually TELLS you what's in the mystery meat. (thesoundvault@attbi.com)

But...will you go back for thirds?...

1. You ask for the Turkey Surprise and she says, "Have all you want of that lying, cheating sonofabitch" as she ladles it out. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)