(updated 29 Mar 04)  

Top Ten NASCAR Race Fan Faux Pas
(Topic suggested by monetmonet@artlover.com)

Due to my stabbing ice-pick headache (I've had for a few days now)...I didn't take the time to create an "almost" list. (This is where I'm supposed to garner a lot of sympathy from everyone...hint hint.)

24. Yelling "Turn left! Turn left!" at Indy. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

23. Refer to cars by anything other than the drivers name. (The red one just passed the black one.) (endocrom@aol.com)

22. After a crash say "I hope he's OK". (endocrom@aol.com)

21. You are heard saying, "Let's watch a real sport." (Patterson8040@aol.com)

20. Tucking in your mullet. (monetmonet@artlover.com)

19. Apologizing to the person in front of you for the tobacco-juice on their back. (jbray4@adelphia.net)

18. Going down to the track, and asking where the field events are. (paracletus3@aol.com)

17. An impulsive drive from New York to Florida to watch the Daytona 500 WITHOUT tickets or hotel rooms (yeah, I did it THIS year!). (not2greedy69@aol.com)

16. Suggesting the sport would be more interesting with female and minority drivers. (NodMyChin@sbcglobal.net)

15. My favorite: Pronouncing it "Nash-Car." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

14. Putting the Winnebago in the shop on race weekend. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

13. Using words with more than three syllables. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net; archerjoe@hotmail.com)

12. Sticker in the back of your Chevy is of the little boy peeing on an AMERICAN brand truck! (monetmonet@artlover.com)

11. Not knowing that Dale Jarrett and Dale Jr. aren't related (at least we don't think so). (marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

10. Faux Pas? I'm a racing fan, damn it. I don't speak "fruitcake". (Porcell78@AOL.com)

9. Bringing a woman with you who's tastefully dressed. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

8. You utter the number "3" without removing your baseball cap. (monetmonet@artlover.com)

7. Trying to wedge bottles of '68 Chateau Lafitte Rothschild into the holders on the beer hat. (spamalope@access4less.net)

6. You allow the rebel flag picnic table cloth to touch the ground. (MedCheryl@aol.com)

5. Running over Richard Petty's hat in the parking lot. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

4. Pardon me, is this the Earnhardt section? (The correct question, of course, would be, "Is this Junior's section?") (William.fishburne@verizon.net)

3. Wearing a Gay Pride T-shirt. (seeker@vcoms.net)

2. "Dale Earnhardt Sucks!" (ghfklf@earthlink.net; casstigator@yahoo.com)

You really didn't think those ambulances down by the field were going to be used for you, did you?...

1. Asking those around you if it's rigged like pro wrestling. (chharget@aol.com)