(updated 30 Jun 03)  

Top Ten Rejected Opening Sentences To The Preamble Of The U.S. Constitution

10. Listen to this you British MotherF*****s (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

9. Dudes! (e-merlin@sio.midco.net)

8. Gentlemen, we can build a new nation. We have the technology. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

7. When we the people sat down to write this document, we already knew that it would set off a never-ending battle as to what every sentence means. So we put in all kinds of ambiguous bulls#!t. Have fun. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

6. We the sick and tired of being an overtaxed, overworked, underpaid, and underprivileged people......blah, blah, blah. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

5. Because the Brits are stodgy, the French are wimps and the Germans are thugs, we the people think we can do a better job. Here's how! (skibip@aol.com)

4. We the AAHHH! A spider! Kill it! Kill it! Step on-wait, your not still writing this, are you? (changetion@yahoo.com)

3. We, the white land-owning Males, in order to form a more Puritanical Society, get Revenge on the Tories, subjugate the Roustabouts, defend our Estates, dole some pittances to the Commoners, and make sure our Children aren't summarily overthrown in turn, do ordain and establish this Constitution for these United States of America. (laugh@starpower.net)

2. To Whom It May Concern, This is the way we would run a country if it were up to us! (atwright73@yahoo.com)

Whoa...he only missed that 4 July death date by a little less than a month, too...

I, Thomas Jefferson, with help from Strom Thurmond ...... (TZMAC@aol.com)