(updated 31 Aug 03)  

Top Ten Signs The Scary Movie You're Watching Isn't All That Scary

10. You're annoyed by the consistent giggling by the toddler three rows up.... (stingray678@yahoo.com)

9. You and your friends make comments like you're on Mystery Science Theater. (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

8. The show's main villain chases everyone around with a 'boogie' on the end of his finger. (monetmonet@artlover.com)

7. Preview movie trailers include Power Puff Girls II and SpongeBob Square Pants Hoe Down Party. (agoudie@cableone.net)

6. There are more Pauly Shore cameos than people killed. (forms@beige.f2s.com)

5. Two has-been title characters from 20 year old movie franchises are duking it out on the screen in front of you. (Jdoveraz@aol.com)

4. The dampness in your pants was actually just from your friend's Diet Coke. (breadmaker1123@yahoo.com)

3. The sight of the old folks in front of you making out scares you more. (ProUSAChick76@aol.com)

2. The only time you woke up was when the "Hi, Billy Mays here..." commercial blasted you out of the La-Z-Boy. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

I know there's a good 'It DEPENDS' joke here...only I refuse to do any more for a while...

1. Your Grandma says "Here's my favorite part!" (archerjoe@hotmail.com)