(updated 31 Jul 03)  

As an homage to Mick's longevity (in life and the music industry), we've decided to bestow upon him two lists...one "musical" and one...not. First...the not...

Top Ten Ways Mick Jagger's Life Will Be Different Since He Turned 60

10. Now he smokes marijuana to keep his glaucoma under control instead of for partying. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

9. He will need to consider LIP-o-sucktion! (alohacat@mindspriing.com)

8. Rolling Stones tickets will now be available on the AARP website. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

7. Overheard telling a groupie, "Not now, sweetheart. I've gotta take a nap." (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

6. When asked "what do you think of the Stones," his average fan will respond, "Kidney? ... or Gall?" (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

5. Instead of seeing girls half his age, he can now legally date girls one-third of his age. (lhill@maguiregroup.com; yankee1nfidel@aol.com)

4. He can no longer tell the difference between liver spots and needle tracks. (RWich928@aol.com)

3. All groupies now required to be certified in CPR. (amazingpfil@yahoo.com)

2. Trademark 'swagger' now actually due to full 'Depends' brand undergarment. (kamasushi@aol.com)

If he thought he had trouble understanding what Keith Richards was saying back then...

1. 1986: Live Aid; 2003: Hearing Aid (MrglsJon@aol.com)

Top Ten Ways Mick Jagger's Life Will Be Different Since He Turned 60

10. New anthem: "It's Only Cream of Wheat (But I Like It)." (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

9. Hey, you, get off of my Rascal! (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

8. When he sings "Start Me Up" he means recharge his pacemaker. (steve_medel@oxy.com)

7. Flagging sex life soon may cause him to go running to the shelter of "Daddy's Little Helper," if you know what I mean ... (acidbrat@aol.com; jeanjeanbsmyth@aol.com)

6. You can't always remember what you want. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

5. No more "Brown Sugar". At his age, he's probably diabetic. (trekmeister@conwaycorp.net)

4. Can't sing "Time Is On My Side" without audience snickering. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

3. Gets satisfaction by merely getting out of bed in the morning. (stoneguy@bellsouth.net)

2. Now when he sings "what a drag it is getting old", it's sung with real meaning! (steve_medel@oxy.com)

Talk about your "Beast of Burden"...

1. Goes around saying "What's my name?", but isn't singing "Sympathy for the Devil". (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)