(updated 4 Aug 03)  

Top Ten Reasons Behind Liza Minnelli and David Gest's Separation

10. He must have sobered up and got a good look at her. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net; seeker@vcoms.net)

9. Liza still hoping to beat Liz's record. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

8. David caught putting her mom's taxidermized Toto on eBay for a quick fix. (RWich928@aol.com)

7. He blackened both her eyes trying to kill two "tarantulas" that had crawled on her face. (tackajoey@aol.com)

6. She got jealous because he looked better in her Cabaret costume than she did. (HollinsGirl76@aol.com)

5. Liza realized she would be living in the Gest house instead of the mansion. (bchbms99@aol.com)

4. Generating storylines in case their "reality show" is ever picked up. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

3. The EPA has recently placed a ban on such large concentrations of aging plastic in one household. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

2. It was just getting on her nerves that he kept his maiden name. (RangerXman@aol.com)

Decisions...decisions...to sober up and go "straight"...or...not...

1. Couldn't agree about where to spend vacation: Neverland Ranch or Betty Ford Clinic. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)