(updated 4 Feb 03)  

Top Ten Signs Your Neighbour Might Be a Porn Star

10. You invite her over for some tea and crumpets. She invites you over for some T & A. (StanYan1@aol.com)

9. Piles of wadded up Kleenex under her bedroom window. (stickypickle@aol.com)

8. At Christmas, placed a bed underneath her mistletoe. (jlichtenstein@yahoo.com)

7. Your mailman is always out of breath by the time he gets to your house. (RangerXman@aol.com)

6. His dogs are named "Fluffer" and "Boner". (guitartexn@aol.com; FreeLooseDirt@sbcglobal.net)

5. She answers "Oh Yes, Oh yes, Oh yes" when she agrees with you. (RWitmer102@aol.com)

4. The way they laugh when you ask if they had a hard day at work. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

3. Drives with the top down--and she doesn't have a convertible. (mrsbrak@aol.com)

2. They keep saying they love "Triple X", but don't know who in the heck Vin Diesel is. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

It's not what they say, but the WAY they say it that makes you a tad suspicious...

1. When you ring the doorbell and the response is, "Just a minute, I'm COMING!" (reidayork@aol.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It