(updated 4 Feb 05)  

Top Ten Little Known Government Conspiracies
(Topic suggested by monetmonet@artlover.com)

The conspiracy machine is so bad, they forced us to pick 11. No seriously...THEY did.

11. The Feds have been keeping North Dakota and South Dakota separated for years by an Imaginary Line. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

10. Pimentos... harmless sweet red peppers packed into green olives? ..OR, small irradiated tracking devices that are stored in your colon to be used for diabolic surveillance purposes by a sinister and secret governmental agency??? (rockitower@aol.com)

9. Hormones in Chicken Breasts to increase bust size of 12 year old girls. Don't believe it? Go to the mall on Saturday Night. (srch4sat@verizon.net)

8. Al Gore really did invent the Internet. And, he reads your email. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

7. Switching to a "3:4:5"-right-triangle television program format once 16:9 widescreen has reached its peak in the marketplace. (sootnmoopy@aol.com)

6. The Angst Agency: Secret Agency to seek out those few radical citizens that don't like Sara Lee and Raymond. (maxcel200@aol.com)

5. The trash collectors are actually government agents collecting DNA samples from everyone. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

4. The "Mediocrity Is Good For The Country" Conspiracy. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

3. Republican cover up of alleged homosexual President Abraham Lincoln's recently discovered "No Behind Left Behind" policy. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

2. Bush lost most of Social Security on golfing bets. (humorbear@aol.com)

Well, that explains once and for all why one side is shiny and the other isn't...

1. The Government has placed microchips in aluminum foil, so they can still read brain waves of those people who were on to them. (SPTirish@aol.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It