(updated 4 Jun 04)  

Top Ten Ways To Be Kicked Out Of The 'Clown Hall of Fame'

10. Keep on repeating the "you know what they say about guys with big feet..." joke... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com; deweyever@attbi.com)

9. You take the lead role in Stephen King's impending sequel to "It". (robtone247@yahoo.com)

8. Getting your bookings mixed up and showing up at a kids birthday party with a whip, dressed in leather and chains. (Joker@TheKidders.com)

7. Leave a size 19 bloody footprint at the scene of a crime. (tainsam@aol.com)

6. Making dirty balloon animals. (scalpel@aol.com; darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

5. Driving to the induction ceremony with fewer than 12 passengers in your VW. (cdmauger@aol.com; changetion@yahoo.com)

4. Replacing your clown makeup with KISS band makeup. (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

3. Found to be using laughing gas as a performance enhancing drug. (chharget@aol.com; junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

2. Squirting flower pinned on your pant's fly. (skibip@aol.com)

And finding waterproof face paint in pasty white and vibrant red isn't as easy as it sounds...

1. Cry on the outside, but laugh on the inside. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)