(updated 5 Jan 03)
Top Ten Dumb Guy New Year's Resolutions
Since it's about dumb guys, my excuse is I kept forgetting how many made up a Top Ten list.
12. This year, I will only drink if I am alone or with someone. (RWich928@aol.com)
11. Vary sex life by switching hands once in a while. (email@example.com)
10. I won't eat over 10 cans of beans at one time. (ThaiDye4915@aol.com)
9. No more wearing the same underwear 3 days in a row, unless they don't smell too bad. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
8. Stop showing women in bars my condoms, as a safe sex pick-up line. (email@example.com)
7. Resolve after handling jalapenos to wash hands before picking nose. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
6. I resolve to only start 2 new wars/military operations this year. (email@example.com)
5. 2003 revolutions?? Okay, here goes. Just hope I don't throw up like last year when I had to do 2002. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
4. Won't fall for 'Pull my finger' ever again. (email@example.com)
3. Forgo annual physical from family doctor; listen more attentively to Dr. Phil. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
2. To find things before they are lost. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)
Damn! Next time I'll use a marker that doesn't smudge off...and this time I'll remember...
1. Put an X on the beer can you're using as an ashtray. (email@example.com)