(updated 5 Jan 03)  

Top Ten Dumb Guy New Year's Resolutions

Since it's about dumb guys, my excuse is I kept forgetting how many made up a Top Ten list.

12. This year, I will only drink if I am alone or with someone. (RWich928@aol.com)

11. Vary sex life by switching hands once in a while. (amazingpfil@yahoo.com)

10. I won't eat over 10 cans of beans at one time. (ThaiDye4915@aol.com)

9. No more wearing the same underwear 3 days in a row, unless they don't smell too bad. (andadayplusone@aol.com)

8. Stop showing women in bars my condoms, as a safe sex pick-up line. (lacee7700@aol.com)

7. Resolve after handling jalapenos to wash hands before picking nose. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

6. I resolve to only start 2 new wars/military operations this year. (casstigator@yahoo.com)

5. 2003 revolutions?? Okay, here goes. Just hope I don't throw up like last year when I had to do 2002. (dignan44@yahoo.com)

4. Won't fall for 'Pull my finger' ever again. (seeker@vcoms.net)

3. Forgo annual physical from family doctor; listen more attentively to Dr. Phil. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

2. To find things before they are lost. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Damn! Next time I'll use a marker that doesn't smudge off...and this time I'll remember...

1. Put an X on the beer can you're using as an ashtray. (jbray4@adelphia.net)