(updated 7 Jun 03)
Top Ten Community Service Punishments For Martha Stewart
Okay, this one isn't really a community service punishment, but I'd really like to see it happen anyway...
Firing squad of hot glue guns. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Now the list...
10. Has to put fresh urinal cakes in all the urinals at the Astrodome after a MegaDeath/Ozzy Osbourne concert. (email@example.com)
9. She has to endure a painful 24 hours entertaining the elderly yet drunken Julia Child. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
8. Doom her to eternity to live with a redneck, without the possibility of redecorating or cooking for him. (email@example.com)
7. Sentenced to be a Wal-Mart Greeter. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)
6. She has to spend an entire year keeping the breakfast bar at Big Boy, neat and tidy! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
5. Making sure that all of the sheets in Leona Helmsley's hotels have perfect hospital corners. (GerriHan65@aol.com)
4. Forced to redesign the DMV using only polystyrene ceiling tiles and beige paint. (rodentsRred@hotmail.com)
3. Sommelier at an Oklahoma wine and cheese tasting... Mad Dog and Velveeta for all. (email@example.com)
2. Cleaning up all the papers on the floor at the end of the day on Wall Street. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Uh, Martha, I think you missed a spot...
1. Must dust Iraq. (email@example.com)