(updated 7 Jun 03)  

Top Ten Community Service Punishments For Martha Stewart

Okay, this one isn't really a community service punishment, but I'd really like to see it happen anyway...

Firing squad of hot glue guns. (alca_vexus@hotmail.com)

Now the list...

10. Has to put fresh urinal cakes in all the urinals at the Astrodome after a MegaDeath/Ozzy Osbourne concert. (stickypickle@aol.com)

9. She has to endure a painful 24 hours entertaining the elderly yet drunken Julia Child. (vegasvixen1982@aol.com)

8. Doom her to eternity to live with a redneck, without the possibility of redecorating or cooking for him. (differentdrum@aol.com)

7. Sentenced to be a Wal-Mart Greeter. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

6. She has to spend an entire year keeping the breakfast bar at Big Boy, neat and tidy! (agapeagent@yahoo.com)

5. Making sure that all of the sheets in Leona Helmsley's hotels have perfect hospital corners. (GerriHan65@aol.com)

4. Forced to redesign the DMV using only polystyrene ceiling tiles and beige paint. (rodentsRred@hotmail.com)

3. Sommelier at an Oklahoma wine and cheese tasting... Mad Dog and Velveeta for all. (corabelle@comic.com)

2. Cleaning up all the papers on the floor at the end of the day on Wall Street. (jeriandgeo@aol.com)

Uh, Martha, I think you missed a spot...

1. Must dust Iraq. (samuraikc2002@aol.com)