(updated 8 Dec 04)  

Top Ten Perks To Having a Really Bad Cold

10. You're a hit at the local karaoke joint singing Bob Dylan and Rod Stewart songs. (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

9. For once you can call in sick...and you really are. (maxcel200@aol.com; marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

8. Two words: Nyquil Shooters (cdmauger@aol.com)

7. Feverish forehead great for thawing frozen chicken. (grumpchong@aol.com)

6. You get to test out all those sneeze guards. (gmg247@yahoo.com)

5. Terrorizing the elderly who missed the flu shot rations. (tpep19@aol.com)

4. Really bad coffee tastes just like the really good, $4-a-cup stuff from Starbucks. (soccerdemar@aol.com)

3. Nobody threatens to beat the snot out of you. (Eleman8859@aol.com)

2. You just may have to miss the kid's winter concert..(wink wink) (DaJakAiss@aol.com)

"Yeah...enjoy your drip...er...trip there, Bob...heh heh."

1. The simple perverse pleasure of secretly licking the phone of your co-worker 2 days before he leaves on that UNBELIEVABLE vacation package he has been telling you about for the LAST 3 MONTHS. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

The Ones That Almost Made It