(updated 9 Mar 04)  

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At The Gym

10. Uh, do you work out? (Ppaycash@aol.com)

9. That distinctive muffled pop (if you've ever heard it, you'll know exactly what I mean). (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

8. I'm sure this is a mistake. We've never seen 99% body fat before. (chharget@aol.com)

7. Hi, I'm with a major fitness magazine. Would you pose for a "before" picture? (xflcheerleaders@hotmail.com; srch4sat@charter.net)

6. You look like a sweaty Dr. Phil. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

5. Man, I've gotta take a piss... time to hit the showers. (Storm844@aol.com)

4. You're doing great! Just 99 more to go! (Jygirl8@aol.com)

3. If you put on these boots, the rats in the shower shouldn't be a problem. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

2. I don't care if you ARE a man, you're gonna have to wear a sports bra, buddy! (fbmarz@earthlink.net)

And if they snapped my picture...it would give you some idea as to why they are banning them...

1. Hey, guy...my cell cam got a little wet in here and I missed the money shot...could you pick up the soap again? (RWich928@aol.com)