(updated 8 Dec 04)  

Top Ten Perks To Having a Really Bad Cold

The Ones That Almost Made It:

Don't have to spend money to buy your kids that gooey slime to play with from the gumball machines (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

You save money by not having to buy oysters on the half-shell. (jajuta@comcast.net)

Decreased sense of smell and taste make complementing holiday meals easier. (freeloosedirt@gmail.com)

If you're watching the ending of the movie "E.T." you can blame your sniffling on your cold not on the real reason that your a girlie man!! (steve_medel@oxy.com)

No one wants to take a hit off of your beer, lick your ice-cream cone or share your fries,...they're all yours!!! (soccerdemar@aol.com; threetreeshill@yahoo.com)

No longer need the "Honey-I-have-a-headache" excuse. (penpendisarapen@yahoo.com; cem007@canada.,com)

The great Christmas presents you'll be getting from your neighbor Mrs. Jones when you discover the Mailman special delivers inside her house while Mr. Jones is away at work. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

ESPN 15:00 EDT - Australian rules team checkers. (seeker@vcoms.net)

Balled-up used tissues make great inexpensive cat toys. (murdoctor@aol.com)

No need to concern yourself about "waking up and smelling the coffee". (HerzogVon@aol.com)

You get peace and quiet since your partner is nowhere to be found when you need looking after. (internut36@hotmail.com)

Playing the ink blot game with your used tissues. (SPTirish@aol.com)

Starve a fever, feed a cold. And with a part time job at a fast-food restaurant, you can feed your cold to an entire community. (grumpchong@aol.com)

You get your own armrest at the movies (monetmonet@artlover.com)

Great excuse to look like hell. (chick65@aol.com)

Your nose becomes an instant moisture tap for those dry, Winter-chapped lips. (rockitower@aol.com)