(updated 28 Dec 04)  

Top Ten Signs You Are At A Lame Christmas Party

The Ones That Almost Made It:

You've had enough spiked eggnog to get Rudolph drunk, and your co-workers STILL don't look good. (MrsMikeyDee@aol.com)

Parrot trained to say "Ho, Ho, Ho" over and over and over again. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Loudest thing in the room: Man with bell next to kettle taking donations for the company toilet paper fund for next year. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

Santa pees on YOUR lap. (gregzeer@yahoo.com)

You realize too late that your entire guest list was Jewish. (lanny888@yahoo.com)

You Mom beats you at "pin the tail on Rudolph" (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

You're greeted at the door by the hostess's clergyman. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

Crowd in the living room is captivated by new episode of "Gilligan's Island" reality show. (jbray4@adelphia.net)

The only thing spiked is a freaky mullet. (susancarol428@aol.com)

Everyone thinks the eggnog is spiked and are acting drunk when it was just a little bitter cause the milk was turning. (dorr@jam.rr.com)