(updated 14 Mar 03)  

Top Ten Other Changes Congress Is Planning to Adopt Besides Renaming French Fries

The Ones That Almost Made It:

Plan on naming Great Britain the 51st state. (changetion@yahoo.com)

Anybody with a "Frenchie" sounding kinda' name automatically audited by IRS. (shlpr9@hotmail.com)

Knock down the Statue of Liberty and replace it with an exact replica (made in the USA, of course). (edberger@aol.com)

Demand that the President's next grandchild is named Beatarounda. (sunynfla@aol.com)

Anyone ordering French Toast or Crepes at IHOP will be beaten within an inch of their life! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Activating sleeper agent Jerry Lewis in France. (samuraikc2002@aol.com)

Tell John Hinkley that France has been screwing Jodie Foster. (obscure enough?) (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)

Oh what the Hey! Lets rename French toast too! That's why we get paid the big bucks. Who actually wants us to make up real bills? (JoyfulDjoy@aol.com)

Replace French flag in front of the UN building with a white flag. (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)

Win or lose on the Tour de France, Greg LeMonde's gotta change his name. (seeker@vcoms.net)