(updated 4 Feb 05)  

Top Ten Little Known Government Conspiracies
(Topic suggested by monetmonet@artlover.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It:

I can't say too much but I am sure you noticed you never see any pictures of me and Angelina Jolie together. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

The state of Rhode Island was created as a tax write-off. (jbray4@adelphia.net)

Toilet paper scientifically engineered to stick on your shoe so the microscopic cameras woven into the fabric can watch your every move. (stan@squidworks.com)

Driving on the right side of the road...just to piss off the bloody Brits! (donmans1@netzero.com)

The conspiracy to divert attention from the Iraq war during the election by distracting them with Internet humor sites instead of letting them read real news sites. (p.s. President Bush says thank you for the oragami) (mikepena@socal.rr.com)

The Ozone Spray Can Conspiracy: Now given no credence as it was found full of holes. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Shhhhh! Items with multiple units (such as 6-packs) only count as "1" in the express lanes in the grocery stores! (paracletus3@aol.com)

Your mailman now works for Homeland Security...and he's watching YOU! ( Why else does he zap my packages with that little ray gun before he lets me sign for them? ) (HerzogVon@aol.com)

That "eight-pack" of hot dogs, "six-pack" of hot dog buns thing. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Compelling every TV sold in the U.S. to be "cable ready"--meaning you can't watch TV unless you shell out at least $60 a month to the cable company (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

'Area-51' actually only a clever distraction to keep all eyes away from much more mysterious though lesser known Area-52. (kamasushi@aol.com)

American Idol is really a government plot to keep our minds off the war in Iraq. (Chick65@aol.com)

The secret room at Camp David. It is here where they get vital yes and no answers from the gold plated Ouija Board. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Everyone's idiotic fascination with exotic coffees. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

There is a government agency that does nothing but collect radical thinker's email addresses by posing as a humor website! (strollo5@aol.com)

The CIA is circulating completely absurd conspiracy theories that they make up to discredit completely absurd conspiracy theories discovered by genuine conspiracy theorists. (dart270@geocities.com)

Convincing people that Krispy Creme doughnuts are better than plain ol' bakery doughnuts. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Changing the traffic light to green right as I start to take off my coat...Sure, they have nothing to do with it.. right... (redbarron1010@aol.com)

William Taft was really just a large grapefruit on a stick (amfpsych@aol.com)