(updated 27 Oct 04)  

Top Ten Reasons Why Your Halloween Costume Won't Win Any Contests This Year

The Ones That Almost Made It:

Like most aging anime fans, I can't pass for a Japanese school girl. (chharget@aol.com)

A picture of you wearing it is featured in the PhotoLaughs contest. (astae@paonline.com)

I thought I would win...I'm going as President Dick Cheney. What's scarier that that? (muhltrayne@yahoo.com)

You and your friends look like the road company of "La Cage Aux Folles"....and you're actually women! (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

Because like everyone else, you're going as Spiderman. (Stingray678@yahoo.com; marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

For some reason no place will let me in the door with my "Middle Eastern Terrorist With A Suitcase Bomb" costume. (flynnkj19@aol.com)

It seems people are popping up on every corner with your "hobo" costume already. (stan@squidworks.com)

The T-shirt that says "This is my costume" just isn't funny anymore. (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

Cause I'm going to be staying home and scaring those begging little bastards off of my lawn this year! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Get it? I'm a cocktail weenie! (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Wearing only a lemon on a thong and going as a sourpuss gets old after year five. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)