(updated 19 Oct 05)  

Top Ten Least Successful School Fundraisers

The Ones That Almost Made It:

PTA Nude Calendar. (giraffic_art@yahoo.com; paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Raffle tickets for the Principal's litter of kittens. (pjb1671@yahoo.com)

All you can eat at the school cafeteria. (skibip@aol.com)

Selling a brand of confection called "Want Some Candy, Lil Girl"? (guitartexn@aol.com)

The Great Oatmeal Sale! (manpretty@gmail.com)

The big 'Sellin' Meth for Math Books' drive. (mikepena@verizon.net)

Talent contest at Oral Roberts University. (dennisilvr@aol.com)

12-packs of condoms in school colors with the school logo. (jdcoops3@aol.com)

Elementary Ultimate Fight Contest. (Penguann2@aol.com)

The "This Child Being Left Behind" button campaign just didn't go over well amongst the rich folk. (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

Lunch Lady Lapdances (freeloosedirt@gmail.com)

The Chess Club Kick-a-thon (GrandpaGabe@aol.com)