(updated 20 Feb 03)  

Top Ten Signs Your University is Not in the Same League as Harvard

The Ones That Almost Made It:

The prefix to the "atory" of the high school the freshmen graduated from is "reform, not "prepar". (pec@gis.net)

Your American Literature class lists "Sports illustrated: The swim suit edition" on its required reading list. (whoismaximus@socal.rr.com)

Better parties, hotter chicks, and the sports teams kick ass. (casstigator@yahoo.com)

When your application ask for "bust size." (Jasmine640@aol.com)

Most popular fraternity is "Eata Bita Pi." (WillyTheTunaFish@aol.com)

TV/VCR repair not yet offered at Harvard. (kelsler@aol.com)

Your S.A.T. scores got you in just because you "sat" through the whole test. (Live12965@aol.com)

You can afford to attend off your earnings at McDonald's. (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

The most expensive car in the school parking lot is a 1984 Volvo station wagon owned by the Dean. (trlymurph@aol.com)

The college library has a "story time corner". (shamuca@aol.com)