(updated 20 Oct 04)  

Top Ten Signs You Aren't As Intelligent As You Claim To Be

The Ones That Almost Made It:

You've got $30,000 invested in a scheme to sneak money out of Nigeria. (Seeker@vcoms.net)

Your IQ is 200 in dog years. (maxcel200@aol)

You actually believe that Congress is working in the interest of the public. (scalpel@aol.com)

You follow your SAT score with the phrase "plus or minus 3 percentage points." (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

You're a major candidate in this year's 2004 US Presidential election. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

You were admitted to MENSA, but only on the ground that you bring coffee and donuts to the meetings. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

You just paid off all your debts on your Visa card...with your MasterCard. (maxcel200@aol.com)

I received my 5 degrees from www.printoutafakedegree.com. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

You're the only one in your Astronomy class to actually have a star named after you (only $49.95). (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

Suddenly realize you have stopped walking in order to chew your gum. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

You hit the "refresh" button while viewing HMO pages far beyond the point where you should have realized that the page hasn't been updated yet. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

You recently bought "Dianetics" in an effort to lose a few pounds. (kamasushi@aol.com)

You turn yourself in to federal authorities and confess to having removed the consumer label from your mattress. (rod.renner@juno.com)