(updated 27 Mar 05)  

Top Ten Ways the New 'Iron Chef America' Differs From the Original 'Iron Chef'

The Ones That Almost Made It:

Instead of pepper, host bites into large, drippy hamburger. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

The only cooking equipment available to the chefs is a deep fryer. (spamalope@access4less.net)

They don't serve as many eyeballs as they used to. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

They'll even be cooking raw sewage; after the last two presidential elections, it's evident that Americans will swallow anything. (ListenBucko@yahoo.com)

Endorsement deal with Rustoleum® (seeker@vcoms.net)

They don't feature Octopus Turds as the theme ingredient anymore. (uzdkar@aol.com)

New Iron Chef made larger and less efficient by "lazy American workers." (NONCOMPOSMENTISS@AOL.COM)

Addition of "Hamburger Helper" Category (mjgiunta@adelphia.net)

Now it's Americans not watching it instead of the Japanese. (MdollsGirl13@aol.com)

Announcers constantly asking "How many carbs are in that?" (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

Judging now lacks credibility with Dan Rather as a permanent panelist. (jbray4@adelphia.net)

Iron Chef America has that "new Iron Chef smell." (NONCOMPOSMENTISS@AOL.COM)