(updated 15 Feb 04)  

Top Ten Ways The "Janet Jackson Incident" Is Going To Change Life As We Know It

The Ones That Almost Made It:

We will have to suffer the memories of this single moment in time for the rest of our lives. (pizzafreak48076@aol.com)

Velcro to replace clumsy hooks and fasteners on women's lingerie. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

New designed rewind button on TiVo will be in the shape of Janet's nip. (guitartexn@aol.com)

About a thousand people will waste precious moments of their lives sending in a "Boob Tube" related entry, in spite of the fact that it's so damn obvious. Thus we will have lost a cure for cancer, and a great new recipe for guacamole. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

Men in their 30's and 40's now recognize the name "Justin Timberlake". (murdoctor@aol.com)

God is going to come down to earth and bitch-slap all of us. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

Now newspaper headlines will have to specify WHICH Jackson was indecently exposing themselves to millions of unsuspecting children. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

"Rocky Horror Show" fans no longer the only people to shout "Dammit Janet." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

I have been so deeply affected, nay moved, by the sheer artistry of "the incident" and have been raised to a new level of artistic awareness that now can barley bring myself to play these childish games. Awake and rejoice people, a new era begins...... (l1061s@GO.COM)

Instead of referring to Weapons of Mass Destruction, the initials, WMD, will now mean, Wardrobe Malfunction Dilemma. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Hot new collectors item will be the Bobble Breast. (jbray4@adelphia.net)