(updated 22 May 03)  

Top Ten Ways NBC's Martha Stewart Movie Could Have Been More Entertaining

The Ones That Almost Made It:

Make it about someone else...ANYONE else (Jdoveraz@aol.com; penguin1969@aol.com)

Have wardrobe outfit the entire cast in her KMart clothing line. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

If Cybil Shepherd had pronounced it 'Mer-lott' every time. (tainsam@aol.com)

If she had been abducted by aliens and probed really good before they demand she make them a souffle. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

Filmed in black and white..and then leave out the white. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Add prison sex scenes. (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)

Show a super-slow motion shot of Martha's well manicured grass ...... growing. (TZMAC@aol.com)

Calling it "Martha Stewart Fear Factor"...the first stunt contestants must complete...make a quilt using the hair of an Elk and a pine needle. (KatSut78@aol.com)

Martha Stewart redecorates the Playboy Mansion!!! (oldnvyaf@aol.com)

Include the candid footage incident of her whipping the houseboy, Raoul, with the asparagus stalks when he did not..well.. 'butter her muffins' correctly (Rwich928@aol.com)