(updated 21 Jul 03)  

Top Ten Downsides To Owning a Half-Mile Long Microscope

The Ones That Almost Made It:

Community-dubbed nickname of the "Ron Jeremy-scope" cheapens your scientific grandeur. (razcactus@netzero.com)

Nubile young lab assistants willing to run 60 miles a day to change the slides don't come cheap! (Victoria2393@yahoo.com)

Filling the pool-sized petri dish, of course! (rockitower@aol.com)

Postage and handling is a bitch when you win one on e-bay! (steve_medel@oxy.com)

People don't have to get out of their cars to shout "Nerd" at the top of their lungs. (rodentsRred@hotmail.com; forms@beige.f2s.com)

Makes your mile-long observatory room look empty. (rose_justice@msn.com)

On cold days you're the proud owner of a quarter-mile long microscope. (chaucer101@aol.com)

Far too many jokes from other scientists that I'm "overcompensating". (kamasushi@aol.com)