(updated 4 Feb 03)  

Top Ten Signs Your Neighbour Might Be a Porn Star

The Ones That Almost Made It :

Instead of coming over and asking to borrow sugar, they come over and ask to borrow KY. (Stan790@aol.com)

You NEVER see clothes on the line. (tomcnagy@hotmail.com; GUITARTEXN@aol.com)

She spits whenever she hears someone yell "CUT!" (Profishgyd@aol.com)

Nonsensical disco music droning hour after hour ... (RasGold@aol.com)

You figure out you aren't the only one filming what's going on in the window next door. (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

When you backed into their car they yelled "Do it harder!" (mistahtom@aol.com)

Denies winning the Miss Kentucky Pageant, despite having a license plate that reads, "KY QUEEN" (casstigator@yahoo.com)

Refers to a home workout room as the "jismnasium." (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)

(Sorry, no entry. I'm busy next door.) (laugh@starpower.net)

It takes five UPS guys to deliver one "package". (fullscalekaraoke@aol.com)

Upon moving into the neighborhood, she comes over empty handed to give you some "pie". (fullscalekaraoke@aol.com)

She owns quite a few saddles, but not one horse. (TyleredOne@aol.com)

Every week she tells you about how he gave her another pearl necklace but you never see her wearing one. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

When they have "come as you are parties", you're the only one with clothes on. (lacee7700@aol.com)