(updated 22 Dec 03)  

Top Ten Lame Excuses Saddam Hussein Gave For Being Captured
(Topic suggested by airfarcewon@aol.com)

The Ones That Almost Made It:

"They told me it was the pizza guy and I couldn't carry the $22.50 AND an AK47" (bob9514@aol.com)

He forgot to pay his student loan. Those guys can find anybody. (ahines3103@aol.com)

"No phones, no light, no motor cars - not a single luxury.... " (pat123z@aol.com)

"Ha! You found me. My turn, I'll count to 20." (havesomepatience@aol.com)

"Don't pull that tarp back! I'm in my darkroom developing film." (mitrep@aol.com)

"Bush promised I would be tried by Judge Ito." (kester55@netzero.net)

This incident secures his name as an answer in Trivial Pursuit. (guitartexn@aol.com)

"Captured?..What you mean, captured?..I turned myself in for the reward!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"Osama snores like an asthmatic camel. A man can only take so much." (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

"Living in a hole since April isn't what I thought it would be." (marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

"According to my calendar, it was February 2nd." (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Tired of wondering, "Does my extended family love me or the bribes?" (chharget@aol.com)